Published January 17, 2025
I remember welcoming in the new year, so ready to put 2022 behind me. I felt extremely relieved, like 20 pounds had been lifted off my shoulders.
However, I live in Northeast Ohio and it was now the dead of winter. Freezing cold temperatures, cloudy skies every day, and snow blanketed everything and anything that was once green. It felt dreadful. I am one who dislikes winter, I always have. I don’t ski, nor do I care to learn. (But it’s great if you are into it!) I prefer sandals and flip flops to socks and boots any day.
So what was I to do? I knew that I couldn’t just sit in my house. My mental well-being was at stake. As I faced the looming winter months ahead, I was tense, anxious, and fearful all at the same time. I could tell my friends were worried about me.
I remember one of them saying, “Try to plan stuff so there is always something to look forward to.” She was referring to my youngest son, who was 13 at that time. She had suggested planning fun things for him to do every weekend that winter, so that the gloom of the weather didn’t add to the sadness of losing his dad. It would help him get through the school week, knowing something fun was around the corner.
Well, I realized that I needed it too. To always have something to look forward to. It was definitely important for both of us.
My older kids were away at college, keeping really busy with projects and exams. They were surrounded by friends, always had things to do and parties to attend, and I was glad they were experiencing life at a Big 10 university. On the other hand, I had to take care of things at home. I needed my 13 year old son to feel loved and supported. And I definitely could not spiral down myself. I did not want my kids to also have to worry about their poor old mom after what they just went through.
I learned that it is crucial to not sit around at home! Because you know what happens? You end up feeling sad, you keep thinking about your situation, and your mind starts going down the rabbit hole.
Just get up and do something!!!
So here are some things we did, along with other suggestions, to ignite your social life after losing a loved one. Of course, you can plan that big trip to the Caribbean but I’m talking way smaller scale here, as most of us have school calendars to adhere to or we can’t just take off work all the time. Whether you have children at home or not, I want these ideas to spark your desire to do something! Grab your kids, or grab a friend or two, and get going!
See? It doesn’t have to be hard. The important point is to NOT sit around at home. You can’t sulk in your sorrows. I promise that if you get out and be around people, you will heal faster. It definitely did for me and my son. 100% attested.
1. Go watch a sporting event – it gets the adrenaline pumping to watch a game! You can’t help but get excited cheering on your favorite team!
2. Find out what musicals or plays are showing in your town. Our theater district (Playhouse Square in Cleveland) has some amazing shows. Let the plot take you away!
3. Look into tickets for a concert – whether it’s pop or rock or orchestra. The energy and music will move you!
4. Many hotels have nice indoor pools so book a weekend stay. You most likely have a decent one near you.
5. Try a new restaurant. Or go to one of your tried and true favorites. The important thing is getting out with friends. I always find that going out to eat leads to quality time spent together. Conversations become more meaningful because you’re not distracted by what’s going on in your house. (Like throwing in a load of laundry or dealing with barking dogs!).
6. Many VRBO Properties offer weekend bookings. You don’t have to go far to find one! You might be tied to work schedules or the school year, but you can still book a mini trip to a property that’s only an hour or two away. Just get in the car and go!
7. Of course there’s always the movie theater. Even though you can watch movies at home, there’s something special about watching it on a big screen with the huge reclining chairs and eating movie theater popcorn! Many newer places have dining options too.
8. Host a small gathering or party. I guarantee that your friends will love to see you! Or heck, invite one friend over and enjoy each other’s company over a bottle of wine.
9. If you have kids at home, host a sleepover! Involve your kids by letting them plan it. What should we make or should we order pizza instead? What fun games should we bring out?
10. Head to the spa! Book an appointment for a massage or facial. Get a mani/pedi. Or better yet, do it all! You will feel refreshed and rejuvenated! Tell yourself that you deserve it because you do!
11. There are some nice cabins near my hometown, which can be booked for a week or for just a couple of days. Look for some near you. Many are pet-friendly, and you can get away for a change of scenery.
12. Think about what brings you joy. Is there a photography class you’d like to take? Maybe it’s an activity like yoga. If you live somewhere warm, maybe join a golf league. If you truly enjoy it, you will look forward to it every week!
13. Volunteer! Your nearby food pantry, hospital, school district, church, and pet shelter are just a few places which come to mind. I can tell you firsthand that I have met many of my close friends from volunteer efforts throughout the years. You will feel good about giving back while also getting out of the house.
Ultimately, no one is coming to rescue you. It is nobody else’s responsibility but your own to fill your social calendar. So don’t sit around and wait for plans to drop in your lap. Your friends are busy and have their own lives. Yes, they are terrific friends but they can’t save you nor should they! Do you really want to be a burden to them? I think not.
I know you can do it! I believe in you! I’d love to hear about what you’re doing! What do you have planned? Share your ideas so that others may get inspired to do the same! Let’s all get out there together.