Published October 29, 2025
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Buddha
Wow! Let this be a powerful reminder that staying angry is hurting you, causing more pain and agony along the way. It can become an extremely heavy burden to carry. Why would you want to do this to yourself? Why do you want to burn yourself?
There is no denying that the grief and loss is very real. And the anger, confusion, stress…..all the emotions, must be felt and processed. Yes, this will take time. But gradually, you must release the emotions and and allow them to subside. Holding the pent up anger, living each hour of your day thinking “why me?” is not going to help in the healing process.
Was I angry at first when my husband suddenly died? I’m not sure if that’s the proper term. I was shocked beyond words and really confused. I didn’t understand how this could happen to us. I thought, “We’re a good family. What did we do to deserve this?”
I think my reaction was a natural, validated response. But then I quickly moved my attention to the kids, making sure their needs were met. I had to be the loving, supportive, and protective mom. I didn’t have time to dwell on “poor me.” Looking back, I know this helped. Had I sat around and let myself be consumed by anger day and night, I would not be where I am today.
I have heard from many along the grief journey that anger is a big issue. You’re mad at the world, you think life isn’t fair, and you’re mad at God. Sometimes it holds you back from wanting to leave the house.
Those are all valid feelings. Yeah, it sucks. But none of us can afford to live this way. Please don’t live in anger! It’s holding you back more than you realize! You get this one life. It can definitely get messy and stressful. But it can also be beautiful and joyous! Life can come in waves, with peaks and valleys. Everyone goes through it. Everyone has their own battles at various points in their lives.
Let’s not overlook the beauty in everyday things which are right in front of you. I promise you have them! Your loving family, your caring friends, your wonderful grandchildren. Also, they don’t necessarily have to be big things – think of a delicious meal, the beauty in fall leaves, a good movie. Focus on what you DO have instead of what you don’t. The more you look for reasons to be angry, the more you’ll find anger, to the point that you’ll be consumed by it. Don’t let anger eat you up!
Think about it. What good does it do to be angry at the world? What purpose does it serve? What do you expect to get in return? Do you really expect anything in return?
Your loved one would not want you to be live in anger. In fact, they would be upset by it. I often think of what would my husband want me to do. That simplifies many decisions for me. I know he wants me to be happy. I know he wants me to live a fulfilling life. No doubts whatsoever. So that’s how I choose to live my life. I hope you will discover and realize the same.
Remember, you have this one life. Live it to the fullest! Don’t have regrets. Don’t live in anger. For daily inspiration, please follow me on Instagram @sincerelyjulie_joyful_living. To reach me, you can message on Instagram, email inquiry@sincerelyjulie.com, or simply leave a comment below.