Published February 20, 2025
Does your home feel different after the loss of a loved one? Does it have the same sense of love, warmth, and comfort? Does it still feel like your home?
None of us have the same exact journey, so these answers will be personal to each of us. Factors that can impact these questions include how long we’ve lived in the home with our spouse, how many years we’ve been married, and if there are any children involved. A big factor might be if our spouse suffered illness in the home or died in the home. Yeah, this is serious stuff.
Let’s just validate the obvious….it is awful no matter how and where it happened. And let’s also validate that we are doing some really tough things.
From the previous blog, we all know how major decisions should not be made in that first year. And yes, selling a home would fall in this category.
If you feel tempted, don’t do it. At least not yet. Give it time. You may feel differently in a month, 6 months, or a year from now.
But if you are feeling that your home simply isn’t what it used to be, try redecorating it. Maybe a refresh will do the trick. It doesn’t need to be a substantial undertaking. After all, the last thing we want to do is add more work and stress into our lives as we are trying to heal.
Try rearranging your furniture. This easy yet effective piece of advice came from the pastor of our church. I was in a panic because I didn’t think I could stay in the same house. But with the help of dear friends, it was done. And boy did it work wonders!
So give it a shot….it will cost you nothing to attempt it. This can make a huge impact if your spouse died in the home or was suffering and being treated in the home. The chair they were always sitting in, the couch they were laying on as their health deteriorated, or the room they were in when they took their last breath. I know it hurts, but you can do it.
How about a new paint color? Splash a color on your walls that makes you feel happy. Maybe something light or bright which could help bring back some joy into your life.
What about some new artwork? I personally love Home Goods. They have a great selection at very reasonable prices. A modern print to hang on the wall, a new centerpiece for the table, some pretty silk floral to add color, fresh decorative pillows for the couch, or a few contemporary light fixtures can all add flair and life back into your home.
If you’re like me and need to look into ideas, Pinterest has many pages to inspire you. Whether it’s a certain style you are seeking or a specific room you are changing up, Pinterest has a vast offering of designs to help you get started.
Now this next part is going to be really tough, but I firmly believe it is going to help in the healing process. Keep the display of only a few photos of your spouse and take down the rest. I know….it is excruciating and heartbreaking.
Therefore, as you are rearranging furniture, painting walls, and/or finding new artwork, remove most of the beloved photos and store them in a treasured place. Take a deep breath and realize these pictures are not going anywhere. You’re always going to have them. If you feel the need, you can always take a few minutes to go look through them. But if everywhere you look are reminders of your past life, how are you supposed to move forward? A big part of the healing process is being able to accept what happened and live in our new normal. I am not saying take down every single picture. After all, we do want to honor our loved one’s life. Just keep up a few in remembrance. Gradually with time, when you walk by the picture it will bring a smile to your face or conjure up some fond memories.
If after a year you still want to sell your house and move, then you’ll feel confident in your decision because by now you’ve given it enough time and effort. What you don’t want to happen is make an abrupt decision, sell your home for lower than it’s worth to hurry and move out of it, and then have regrets later on.
In the course of time, you will know. Trust the process. Ultimately, a house should be a HOME. You deserve to be in a cozy, loving home! Whether it’s in the same home or you move into a different one, you will find your sanctuary again.
Sending you love, strength, and positivity. What have you done to change up your home? What has helped you? Message me below or find me on Instagram @sincerelyjulie_joyful_living.