Published January 10, 2025
You made it! A new year. For some readers, 2025 could not come fast enough. You want to put the last year behind you, that awful year you lost your loved one. It’s finally January 2025!
Okay Julie, you say. We are here, so now what??
Let me ask you this question as we start a new year..….Does this sound like you?
You’re sitting here wondering how your life got to be like this. Widowed young, not anything you saw coming.
You don’t know what to expect this year, and it feels quite scary and stressful.
Do you find yourself thinking, “What did I do to deserve this?”
You want to feel sorry for yourself yet you also want to be strong.
You often ask, “Why me?”
Sound familiar? I am sure it does. You know why? Because you are human. It is normal to feel like this. It would be odd if you didn’t feel these things after what you went through.
Hence, give yourself some grace as you are experiencing these feelings. Be kind to yourself. There is no denying what you are going through is really difficult. I see you, and I hear you. I understand.
But I want to let you in on a key discovery I found which has helped me tremendously in my mindset and approach to life after losing my husband. It’s this:
Just because my path isn’t what I thought it would be, it doesn’t mean that it will be bad.
There it is. The epiphany. This is the big, bold, beautiful statement which I realized in the months following my husband’s death.
Yes, it is so hard at first. Yes, you have to feel all the feels. Yes, you must acknowledge your new reality. Remember, there is no way around it, only through it. But as you are going through it, tell yourself that your new path could be a really good and meaningful one. Just because it’s a different path doesn’t mean that your life will be sad or empty! Why do we tend to jump first to the negative conclusions? Why can’t we jump to the positive ones?
Your mind can be a very powerful tool so let’s shift the mindset! After all, there’s no mold of life that you are supposed to fit in. There is no direct path you are supposed to follow. If our lives are similar to everyone around us, wouldn’t that be boring? Therefore, how about you redefine your life and write your own story?
And I know this next statement will be tough to swallow, but it’s important to acknowledge and accept in order to move on.
You must close the last chapter and put it behind you while welcoming the next chapter.
That next chapter might be unknown, but you must be open-minded and welcome it anyway. I promise that all the memories from that last chapter will be kept near and dear in your heart. Those cherished memories will forever be with you. They will bring smiles as you tell those stories in the years to come. But you must not dwell in the past nor think about what could have been. Do you want to remain in gloom and sadness? Do you really want to live like you’re stuck in the past? I sure don’t. I am pretty sure you don’t either.
The reality is that no one truly knows how their path will play out. No one. People can plan all they want, chart out their retirement, or make a road map for the next 10 years, but nobody is in full control of their lives. Only God knows your path. And you may not understand why He has put you on this current path, but in time you will realize why. It might take months or years. Or you may never find out why during your time here on earth. But I truly believe that someday He will reveal it all to you.
We become the stories we tell ourselves. So tell yourself that you can be powerful in the face of fear. Sometimes you have to do it afraid. And keep in mind that growth lies in discomfort. If you want happiness bad enough, you will find it! Only you can create your own joy. Only you can define your next chapter. Only you can take the steering wheel of your life. What direction do you want to go? It is unlimited!
Think about it…..the delight of a new year! Get excited! Who will you meet? What trips will you take? What adventures await you? What new activity will you start? Maybe it’s that art class you’ve always wanted to take. Maybe you want to join a running group. Or how about a cooking class? What if you try something and surprise yourself? Make this the year that you will finally prioritize YOU!
And guess what? You can still chase your dreams after a big life change, perhaps things just shifted! Will it take time to play out? For sure it will. Does it feel scary? You bet. But YOU can do hard things. However, just be patient, and remember…..one foot in front of the other until you get there. Forward is a pace, no matter how slow.
Let me announce that you are never too old, it is never too late, and you are never not good enough. If you are waiting for that perfect moment to start something, you will be waiting forever.
Let today be your day one on a new path!
In the midst of hardship, do you crumble or do you pivot? I am here to tell you that I believe in you! I want you to be happy. I want you to believe in yourself. I want you to live a fulfilling life after loss. It is all possible! I would love to hear from you so please contact me so that we can share our journey together.